From God's Heart to Mine

   Every time I get a card in the mail, a message on social media, or a text I am once again humbled at the thought of just how many people are praying for us and for Aaron. To know that this precious boy has had so many prayers for his little life bring tears to my eyes. I know that God has a wonderful plan in store for his life and I can't wait to see what He does through Aaron!

   God has been so good along this early part of our journey. I wanted to share some specific ways that He has been showing Himself faithful to us through our baby's heart.

   

   Back in September my husband (Chris, for those who don't know) accepted a job offer to work from home. This was a long process of praying, making pro/con lists, and debating whether we should step out in faith or not. To leave a job with so much security for our growing family (we had just recently found out we were expecting Aaron), it was a difficult choice. Ultimately, he took the job. We never thought that that was God's first step in showing us that he is in control. Because of this new job, Chris will be able to work from the hospital during Aaron's stay there as a newborn (providing we can buy him a good laptop before then). Praise the Lord! He had already been working, because He knew that this was the road we were going to be going down. Even as I type this I am in awe of how thoughtful and caring our God is. He could have kept Chris at his previous job, He could have made it so much more difficult when baby arrives; but He didn't. He cared enough about our little family in northern Wisconsin to allow this new job and allow our family to be together at such a difficult time. God cares.

   At my first check up with my OB, around 12 weeks, we found out the 2^nd way God was going to work all things out for our good. My Dr. told me that he would no longer be delivering babies after March (I was due in April, just a month later!). I was bummed, I really liked him and didn't want to have to make a choice of finding a new Dr. He told me that I could continue seeing him until around 32 weeks, or I could go to a different Dr. right away. He gave me some suggestions of Dr.'s and left it at that. I went home and told Chris of the news, we decided that I would rather switch Dr.'s right away so that I could get to know the new Dr. during the whole pregnancy instead of the last few weeks. I decided this because I was going to have to change hospitals, Dr.'s, the drive (it was twice as long now to get to the new hospital. Remember, we live in the middle of nowhere...so instead of driving 25 min to the hospital, we were now going to have to drive 45 min. I was NOT looking forward to that! I'm a little paranoid about giving birth in the car.). Anyway, I decided to change Dr.'s and God had it all planned out (way number 3 that God was in control). At this new Dr. I was just one appointment away from my ultrasound! Yay! So she told me that at their clinic the procedure is that after the tech looks at the baby, they have a high risk Dr. that also comes in and looks, just in case there is anything wrong (ding ding ding! Way number 4 God had us all taken care of). This may not seem like a big deal, but I had the choice of having my ultrasound done at my previous hospital (so I wouldn't have to drive as far) but my Dr. convinced me that having it done at the new place would be better because the high risk Dr. would be there and I'd get better pictures of my baby (what Mommy wouldn't want that?!). As you know, it was at that 20 week ultrasound that we did, in fact, get some pretty good pictures of our baby and that the high risk Dr. was very involved in showing us our baby's condition. Now, people may say that this was all coincidence or that it was ironic that these things just happened. But I know the truth. This was no chance happening, there was no “it just happened to be this way”, there was no “wow are we lucky that this Dr. was able to see us”. This was all planned by a loving and caring God. He knew where we would need to be to get the best reading possible on that ultrasound, He knew that I would need to switch Dr.'s, He knew that the extra 45 min drive ultimately wouldn't matter. He knew. He cared. He loved us enough to change our plans even though we didn't think they needed to be changed. God loves.

   I am so sure that there will be many more things that God reveals to us how this has all been in His perfect plan. And I am also sure that there will be many things that we don't even realize He has done! We know that He cares about us, we know that He loves us, we know that our lives are in His hands. We rest in those promises and we rely on them daily as we are going through this journey. These truths don't make the hurt of this process go away, they are still there. It hurts me to know that my newborn won't get to come home right away. It hurts me to know that he'll be having open heart surgery at a week old. It hurts me to know that my other 2 boys won't get to see mommy or baby Aaron very much. But God, in His great mercy and care and love, will be with us through all the hurts and sorrow that we go through. He will also be with us in all our joys and triumphs! Aaron is already such a joy to our family. He is such an active baby (much like his big brothers). His brothers love to talk about him and to him. We thank God daily for his life and that he is growing!

   All this to say, our God is good. He cares. He loves. And He shows us that daily by people who are praying and loving on our little family as we go through this journey!